I'm not as strong as you see me.
Why am I always over thinking something that already happened and it has totally no point thinking over it again. I really hate to have cold wars with people, especially with someone I love so much. It just sucks, I swear.
After what happened today, it made me realized that I'm very afraid of losing you. It's a very horrible feeling and I've to force myself not to think about it, yet they just kept flowing and flowing into my brain.
They say, brains over hearts. But what if the brains have no control over the hearts? I'm on the verge on tearing up and I've to control those tears because I know crying it out isn't gonna help much. Being ignored by the person you loved the most and the person is showing you his back view when you're about to cry is the most terrible feeling ever. That bee sting feeling.
All I can do is just standing at a corner by myself, looking at that back view and controlling those tears from falling. You've no idea how much I wanted to go up to you and hug you.
It's all my fault for not listening to you. It's my fault for being stubborn. It's my fault for being obsessed with something you don't like after all. But what can I do? I can't just simply give up something that has been with me for years. Maybe in the future, yes. But for now, I'm sure its impossible.
